But, this isn’t just my story is it? It’s the story of the human being. The moment we assert ourselves, the moment we emphatically, and strongly use our voices– our individuality, there will be someone, or, many there to accuse us of something. Whether it be, you’re “judmental”, “selfish”, “mean”, “rude”, etc… There will be those who wish you would shut the fuck up, because you’re bothering them. You are giving voice to the insecurities, inadequacies, self-loathing and fear that they have been hiding from both others and themselves. Now, you must pay! You must be stoned, burned, shunned, yelled at, berated, criticized… Any of this sounding familar?
Dear hearts, dear souls… most magnificent creators of all that will be… It would seem that you are in the midst of chaos, much like a washing machine… life for you seems to be on spin cycle. But, let us look at the function of the spin cycle, shall we? It’s purpose is to wring out all the impurities of the process of washing. It’s function is to remove the excess water, debris, dirt, and the like, so that all remains is what is necessary…. Clean clothing awaiting it’s next step to be worn by you. We say this to […]
So, here’s the thing… my tolerance for fuffy fuffy, puffy wuffy, illusionary, bullshit spirituality is at an all time low. Truly, I’ve developed a gag reflex to those spiritual “gurus” who are sooo image-conscious now that someone’s paying them a lot of money, that they forgot why they started doing what they are doing in the first place. Hello… your gig was to empower people! So, just because you wrote some books, got a few TV spots, are on some radio shows, and Oprah loves you— doesn’t mean the gig has changed… it may mean YOU have changed. Let me be clear, I am not mad at any of those who paved the way for me. My irritation is losing the message, distorting the clarion call for spiritual freedom, the recognition and release of each I AM walking the planet right now. My concern is that someone gets up on a podium to spread love, wisdom and light, and then they forget to have a friggin seat every once in a while.
So…if you insist…keep looking out your own eyes into nature, into animals, children, and people, with the delusion that you are better. It’s your choice. But, I promise you– this will NOT make the world a better place for you. It WILL NOT quell feelings of insecurity, fear, or fill any voids you may have within yourself. What it WILL DO is give you a lot of anxiety, paranoia and absolutely NO peace. You will most certainly miss the entire point of embodiment. Which is what?? For the divine to express itself in as many ways as possible, for the sheer joy of it. Again… the choice is yours.
I don’t think I can emphasize enough that I, like every other lightworker, souled being am on my personal journey– there is no destination . And, while I acknowledge that I am in the midst of my own Masterhood–I also understand that this in itself is a journey, that there’s much more to create and learn. I’ve come to accept that relationships, all relationships will change, some will grow closer to me, some will grow away. And, all is appropriate. I have changed, how I see things have changed, how I experience the world has change. I don’t always readily understand it, but, I will always allow it. What’s the recourse, hurting my brain trying to make sense of it? Hurting myself emotionally by trying to resist change? Slow it down, so that I can feel caught up? So that I feel like I have some control over it? Yeah, uh… no! Why no? Simple I tried that before, it’s a time I like to call… my 20′s. And, it was a beautiful, self-inflicted hell… And, I will never do that again! Go with the flow, follow your highest self… trust yourself, you cannot fail. Life is an adventure–these are just pretty words. I know these things for sure. I’ve lived these things.
I picked up my first new age book at 10 years old… It was, “You Can Heal Your Life”, by Louise Hay. My mom and I saw her on the Oprah Winfrey Show back in the 80′s… My mom found her intriguing, so she bought the book, but, I was the one who actually read it from cover to cover. My first New Age movie was “Out on a Limb”, it was based on Shirley McClaine’s early shift into awakening and consciousness… I’m pretty sure I was either a pre-teen, or in my early teens when it was released. But, the point I’m making is this… My entire life has been about getting to where I am now. And, where am I?? I’m in the midst of my Masterhood… That’s where I am.
In my life-long quest of self expression, I’ve learned this for sure… I don’t like cliques, I don’t require approval of anything other than my own heart. I know that I can walk alone, as long as I’m happy–and, I’m happiest when I’m true to myself. I have never felt comfortable with the concept of group think–thus, I’ve happily sat on the fringes of a lot of organizations, groups, communities, etc… Why? I think I’ve always known this: very rarely does a group allow it’s members to become self-empowered enough to lead themselves. The moment someone does that–the entire group turns and swarms them like angry bees. You know what I’m talking about. You’ve either been one of the angry bees attacking, or you’ve been the rebel who questioned the hive, and was attacked.
Another thing that has developed during this time, is mylove affair with being alone. Once upon a time, when spiritual pursuits exclusively involved mystery schools, monasteries, etc… Initiates would be thrust-ed into solitude… Whether it be spending time on a mountain alone, going on some sort of pilgrimage or vision quest. Now, spending time alone becomes this addictive luxury. Being alone with your thoughts, your changing DNA, your changing thought forms, just concentrating on breath and allowing… It becomes the new sexy. The lack of sound becomes a lullaby. What used to be anxiety-inducing thoughts of “Oh God, what if I’m alone?!” Becomes, “Oh, thank God, I’m alone! Yay!” In these times, is when you become grateful for the solitude to be, and become more of yourself. In these times, you become comfortable with the idea that all you need is you, and that’s all you’ve ever needed, or will need.
We’ve been misinformed in that we’ve been taught that we have to put up with eachother’s mess, or fix it, or clean it up. And, then we wonder why we fight with one another. It’s simple… Not everyone wants their mess cleaned up! Not every one wants to admit they are a mess. And, some people stupidly think that someone wants to deal with their mess, when they, themselves cannot stand it. Okay, I’m not a huge advocate for logic, by any means. But, that shit makes no sense. If you can’t stand yourself, why should anyone else?!