So, here’s the thing… my tolerance for fuffy fuffy, puffy wuffy, illusionary, bullshit spirituality is at an all time low. Truly, I’ve developed a gag reflex to those spiritual “gurus” who are sooo image-conscious now that someone’s paying them a lot of money, that they forgot why they started doing what they are doing in the first place. Hello… your gig was to empower people! So, just because you wrote some books, got a few TV spots, are on some radio shows, and Oprah loves you— doesn’t mean the gig has changed… it may mean YOU have changed. Let me be clear, I am not mad at any of those who paved the way for me. My irritation is losing the message, distorting the clarion call for spiritual freedom, the recognition and release of each I AM walking the planet right now. My concern is that someone gets up on a podium to spread love, wisdom and light, and then they forget to have a friggin seat every once in a while.
So, if you hear me screaming fuck a lot… possibly accompanied by some Metallica, System of a Down, or Korn. I’m in the midst of moving energy and transformation. Frustration is good for you, it means you’re done with the spot you’re in, and it’s time to move on. If you hear me screaming, hell yeah! Dancing in the rain (with clothess or without), listening to Led Zepplin, DMB, Erykah, or Jay-Z –Yeah, I’m having a great time. I may have a drink to celebrate life, or, I may have cake–doesn’t matter. What I do, how I express myself– is my story, my creation, my I AM. Yours will be how you choose.
It was interesting watching people attempt to lose themselves, their money, their problems and their inhibitions to the point of hurting themselves all because of a wee little city in the desert. Why allow yourself to sweep that many problems under the table? Why let yourself repress feelings, desires, fears, etc? Why do that just so you can sort of lose your marbles, up-chuck your dignity, and, sometimes your lunch, when there’s always been an alternative? Just be you. Just be authentically, unapologetically you, so that you can enjoy that in excess.
Wise people share knowledge, they live it, they own their choices. Martyrdom is straight up ego-tripping! I do not need to suffer for you–you’ve got that covered–you chose it. In a moment where you were at a cross roads of doing what would move you along on your road, you chose to either to not move out of fear, or move backward out of fear. What would people say, do, think of you? Are you worthy of such good things, happiness, freedom? But, what about all those people who don’t have what you have? What about all those suffering souls who are going without? No disrespect, but, how the hell will your suffering along with the already suffering help?! People believe what they see–so, if you’re shinning your brightest light, if you’re living your core being on a daily basis–who’s going to miss that radiance?
I picked up my first new age book at 10 years old… It was, “You Can Heal Your Life”, by Louise Hay. My mom and I saw her on the Oprah Winfrey Show back in the 80′s… My mom found her intriguing, so she bought the book, but, I was the one who actually read it from cover to cover. My first New Age movie was “Out on a Limb”, it was based on Shirley McClaine’s early shift into awakening and consciousness… I’m pretty sure I was either a pre-teen, or in my early teens when it was released. But, the point I’m making is this… My entire life has been about getting to where I am now. And, where am I?? I’m in the midst of my Masterhood… That’s where I am.
Another thing that has developed during this time, is mylove affair with being alone. Once upon a time, when spiritual pursuits exclusively involved mystery schools, monasteries, etc… Initiates would be thrust-ed into solitude… Whether it be spending time on a mountain alone, going on some sort of pilgrimage or vision quest. Now, spending time alone becomes this addictive luxury. Being alone with your thoughts, your changing DNA, your changing thought forms, just concentrating on breath and allowing… It becomes the new sexy. The lack of sound becomes a lullaby. What used to be anxiety-inducing thoughts of “Oh God, what if I’m alone?!” Becomes, “Oh, thank God, I’m alone! Yay!” In these times, is when you become grateful for the solitude to be, and become more of yourself. In these times, you become comfortable with the idea that all you need is you, and that’s all you’ve ever needed, or will need.
We’ve been misinformed in that we’ve been taught that we have to put up with eachother’s mess, or fix it, or clean it up. And, then we wonder why we fight with one another. It’s simple… Not everyone wants their mess cleaned up! Not every one wants to admit they are a mess. And, some people stupidly think that someone wants to deal with their mess, when they, themselves cannot stand it. Okay, I’m not a huge advocate for logic, by any means. But, that shit makes no sense. If you can’t stand yourself, why should anyone else?!
If you’ve answered the call of lightworker, you’ve seen up close, souls that are so severely lost, so confused, so fill with self-hatred, that your heart aches when dealing with them. But, what do you do? Why are you there? Why are you being shown this? For a few reasons: