I don’t think I can emphasize enough that I, like every other lightworker, souled being am on my personal journey– there is no destination . And, while I acknowledge that I am in the midst of my own Masterhood–I also understand that this in itself is a journey, that there’s much more to create and learn. I’ve come to accept that relationships, all relationships will change, some will grow closer to me, some will grow away. And, all is appropriate. I have changed, how I see things have changed, how I experience the world has change. I don’t always readily understand it, but, I will always allow it. What’s the recourse, hurting my brain trying to make sense of it? Hurting myself emotionally by trying to resist change? Slow it down, so that I can feel caught up? So that I feel like I have some control over it? Yeah, uh… no! Why no? Simple I tried that before, it’s a time I like to call… my 20′s. And, it was a beautiful, self-inflicted hell… And, I will never do that again! Go with the flow, follow your highest self… trust yourself, you cannot fail. Life is an adventure–these are just pretty words. I know these things for sure. I’ve lived these things.

I picked up my first new age book at 10 years old… It was, “You Can Heal Your Life”, by Louise Hay. My mom and I saw her on the Oprah Winfrey Show back in the 80′s… My mom found her intriguing, so she bought the book, but, I was the one who actually read it from cover to cover. My first New Age movie was “Out on a Limb”, it was based on Shirley McClaine’s early shift into awakening and consciousness… I’m pretty sure I was either a pre-teen, or in my early teens when it was released. But, the point I’m making is this… My entire life has been about getting to where I am now. And, where am I?? I’m in the midst of my Masterhood… That’s where I am.

In my life-long quest of self expression, I’ve learned this for sure… I don’t like cliques, I don’t require approval of anything other than my own heart. I know that I can walk alone, as long as I’m happy–and, I’m happiest when I’m true to myself. I have never felt comfortable with the concept of group think–thus, I’ve happily sat on the fringes of a lot of organizations, groups, communities, etc… Why? I think I’ve always known this: very rarely does a group allow it’s members to become self-empowered enough to lead themselves. The moment someone does that–the entire group turns and swarms them like angry bees. You know what I’m talking about. You’ve either been one of the angry bees attacking, or you’ve been the rebel who questioned the hive, and was attacked.

I had a very odd weekend… It was a weekend of shifting. It was so weird, that I cannot define it. All I know is that a layer of something came off, at the same time, the ground beneath me seemed to move when I wasn’t looking. My mind was in such shock, and in such a tizzy of anxiety that it–my mind, found my last nerve, and got a severe talking to. After that–I just ignored her, she gets out of hand, and it’s exhausting to try an reason with her and all the stupid questions of “what?”, “why?”, “who?” Honestly… who fucking cares, mind?! Truly, when has logic ever worked in these scenarios?! When have you ever figured it out, while it’s happening?? Right, NEVER! So, do shut up! Needless to say, I avoid people during these times… Everyone will have a bout of crazy, there’s no need to take anyone with you. Hahaha!

Another thing that has developed during this time, is mylove affair with being alone. Once upon a time, when spiritual pursuits exclusively involved mystery schools, monasteries, etc… Initiates would be thrust-ed into solitude… Whether it be spending time on a mountain alone, going on some sort of pilgrimage or vision quest. Now, spending time alone becomes this addictive luxury. Being alone with your thoughts, your changing DNA, your changing thought forms, just concentrating on breath and allowing… It becomes the new sexy. The lack of sound becomes a lullaby. What used to be anxiety-inducing thoughts of “Oh God, what if I’m alone?!” Becomes, “Oh, thank God, I’m alone! Yay!” In these times, is when you become grateful for the solitude to be, and become more of yourself. In these times, you become comfortable with the idea that all you need is you, and that’s all you’ve ever needed, or will need.

We’ve been misinformed in that we’ve been taught that we have to put up with eachother’s mess, or fix it, or clean it up. And, then we wonder why we fight with one another. It’s simple… Not everyone wants their mess cleaned up! Not every one wants to admit they are a mess. And, some people stupidly think that someone wants to deal with their mess, when they, themselves cannot stand it. Okay, I’m not a huge advocate for logic, by any means. But, that shit makes no sense. If you can’t stand yourself, why should anyone else?!

At some point in your journey, you have to choose who gets to be in your life’s story, and who needs to leave. When you love you–you want to do what’s best…all the time. When you have you–you are never lonely, thus, you don’t “need” others, you only “want” them. When you have you–you don’t have to settle for the scraps in life, whehter they be people, food, jobs, etc… You just don’t do it, and have no problem saying so.

I am at the point in my life, where I am releasing relationships with people stuck in persona, and unaware of realness. To be quite blunt–I find them unattractive. It’s like asking me to fall in love with the idea of someone, or the idea they’d like me to have of them, rather than the person themselves. Who can truly fall in love with anything, or anyone that isn’t real? No one. –Not truly. Sooner, or later, we all must be ourselves, whether we want to or not. And, that is when the truth of who we are, and what we are is revealed. And, yes… we will all see you. So, again, why bother with the pretense, the games, the masks, the show, the persona(s)? They are just your own creations that you got lost in, and for a time, perhaps some will willing get lost with you. But, then again, there are those of us, that wouldn’t bother to get lost because we refuse to engage in the first place.

Listen… I’m a psychic medium… I advise… I clarify choices… I don’t make the choices, nor do I deal with your consequences. I simply say… “These are the options I can see. If you choose this… that may happen. If you choose something else, well, then… something else may happen.” But, I’m very, very, very careful NOT to tell you what to do. Why? Um… I’m not taking responsibility that doesn’t belong to me. Two, your work should earn your rewards! It’s all you, about you, and you should reap the benefits, thereof. But, how the heck can you do that if you will not take a chance on yourself. How can you figure yourself out, if you are too scared to be alone with your thoughts, your feelings, and yes…even your fears?