I picked up my first new age book at 10 years old… It was, “You Can Heal Your Life”, by Louise Hay. My mom and I saw her on the Oprah Winfrey Show back in the 80′s… My mom found her intriguing, so she bought the book, but, I was the one who actually read it from cover to cover. My first New Age movie was “Out on a Limb”, it was based on Shirley McClaine’s early shift into awakening and consciousness… I’m pretty sure I was either a pre-teen, or in my early teens when it was released. But, the point I’m making is this… My entire life has been about getting to where I am now. And, where am I?? I’m in the midst of my Masterhood… That’s where I am.
In my life-long quest of self expression, I’ve learned this for sure… I don’t like cliques, I don’t require approval of anything other than my own heart. I know that I can walk alone, as long as I’m happy–and, I’m happiest when I’m true to myself. I have never felt comfortable with the concept of group think–thus, I’ve happily sat on the fringes of a lot of organizations, groups, communities, etc… Why? I think I’ve always known this: very rarely does a group allow it’s members to become self-empowered enough to lead themselves. The moment someone does that–the entire group turns and swarms them like angry bees. You know what I’m talking about. You’ve either been one of the angry bees attacking, or you’ve been the rebel who questioned the hive, and was attacked.
I had a very odd weekend… It was a weekend of shifting. It was so weird, that I cannot define it. All I know is that a layer of something came off, at the same time, the ground beneath me seemed to move when I wasn’t looking. My mind was in such shock, and in such a tizzy of anxiety that it–my mind, found my last nerve, and got a severe talking to. After that–I just ignored her, she gets out of hand, and it’s exhausting to try an reason with her and all the stupid questions of “what?”, “why?”, “who?” Honestly… who fucking cares, mind?! Truly, when has logic ever worked in these scenarios?! When have you ever figured it out, while it’s happening?? Right, NEVER! So, do shut up! Needless to say, I avoid people during these times… Everyone will have a bout of crazy, there’s no need to take anyone with you. Hahaha!
Another thing that has developed during this time, is mylove affair with being alone. Once upon a time, when spiritual pursuits exclusively involved mystery schools, monasteries, etc… Initiates would be thrust-ed into solitude… Whether it be spending time on a mountain alone, going on some sort of pilgrimage or vision quest. Now, spending time alone becomes this addictive luxury. Being alone with your thoughts, your changing DNA, your changing thought forms, just concentrating on breath and allowing… It becomes the new sexy. The lack of sound becomes a lullaby. What used to be anxiety-inducing thoughts of “Oh God, what if I’m alone?!” Becomes, “Oh, thank God, I’m alone! Yay!” In these times, is when you become grateful for the solitude to be, and become more of yourself. In these times, you become comfortable with the idea that all you need is you, and that’s all you’ve ever needed, or will need.
At some point in your journey, you have to choose who gets to be in your life’s story, and who needs to leave. When you love you–you want to do what’s best…all the time. When you have you–you are never lonely, thus, you don’t “need” others, you only “want” them. When you have you–you don’t have to settle for the scraps in life, whehter they be people, food, jobs, etc… You just don’t do it, and have no problem saying so.
As the holiday season begins, I share my divine discontent for manufactured holiday cheer, in lieu of true peace and kindness toward one another.
I am at the point in my life, where I am releasing relationships with people stuck in persona, and unaware of realness. To be quite blunt–I find them unattractive. It’s like asking me to fall in love with the idea of someone, or the idea they’d like me to have of them, rather than the person themselves. Who can truly fall in love with anything, or anyone that isn’t real? No one. –Not truly. Sooner, or later, we all must be ourselves, whether we want to or not. And, that is when the truth of who we are, and what we are is revealed. And, yes… we will all see you. So, again, why bother with the pretense, the games, the masks, the show, the persona(s)? They are just your own creations that you got lost in, and for a time, perhaps some will willing get lost with you. But, then again, there are those of us, that wouldn’t bother to get lost because we refuse to engage in the first place.
So, this is where we wonder why it is that some of you believe that some members of your family deserve things, and others do not? Why should some have more than they require, while others do not have anything at all? Who are the designers of the idea, that your planet does not provide everything that you all need? Who benefits from this farce? This illusion? When did it all begin? And, most importantly… Why? The why, we can tell you. Once upon a time… you all knew that you were family. And, at some point, you chose to forget. So the same planet that could provide everything for everyone, now “seemingly” has a shortage of it’s ability to provide food, shelter and clothing. Or, has someone realized that the withholding of those things, is a wonderful (if not horrible) way to control large groups of people?
While we know the age of great light is coming, we do not understand the details in which you will paint. As, truly…you’re making it up as you go along. It’s times like these that all the stories our scribe likes to read, seem more plausible then she’s ever thought, and yet… she knows deep within herself… there’s so much more to come. She wonders…”Can I do this?” And, we answer this: “You already did… Now relax and enjoy yourself.” We advise you the same. Before you know it, this adventure will lead you back home, and you’ll be clamouring and in some cases complaining, that you miss all the fun of being human. (smile) So…enjoy it!