I don’t think I can emphasize enough that I, like every other lightworker, souled being am on my personal journey– there is no destination . And, while I acknowledge that I am in the midst of my own Masterhood–I also understand that this in itself is a journey, that there’s much more to create and learn. I’ve come to accept that relationships, all relationships will change, some will grow closer to me, some will grow away. And, all is appropriate. I have changed, how I see things have changed, how I experience the world has change. I don’t always readily understand it, but, I will always allow it. What’s the recourse, hurting my brain trying to make sense of it? Hurting myself emotionally by trying to resist change? Slow it down, so that I can feel caught up? So that I feel like I have some control over it? Yeah, uh… no! Why no? Simple I tried that before, it’s a time I like to call… my 20′s. And, it was a beautiful, self-inflicted hell… And, I will never do that again! Go with the flow, follow your highest self… trust yourself, you cannot fail. Life is an adventure–these are just pretty words. I know these things for sure. I’ve lived these things.
I picked up my first new age book at 10 years old… It was, “You Can Heal Your Life”, by Louise Hay. My mom and I saw her on the Oprah Winfrey Show back in the 80′s… My mom found her intriguing, so she bought the book, but, I was the one who actually read it from cover to cover. My first New Age movie was “Out on a Limb”, it was based on Shirley McClaine’s early shift into awakening and consciousness… I’m pretty sure I was either a pre-teen, or in my early teens when it was released. But, the point I’m making is this… My entire life has been about getting to where I am now. And, where am I?? I’m in the midst of my Masterhood… That’s where I am.
In my life-long quest of self expression, I’ve learned this for sure… I don’t like cliques, I don’t require approval of anything other than my own heart. I know that I can walk alone, as long as I’m happy–and, I’m happiest when I’m true to myself. I have never felt comfortable with the concept of group think–thus, I’ve happily sat on the fringes of a lot of organizations, groups, communities, etc… Why? I think I’ve always known this: very rarely does a group allow it’s members to become self-empowered enough to lead themselves. The moment someone does that–the entire group turns and swarms them like angry bees. You know what I’m talking about. You’ve either been one of the angry bees attacking, or you’ve been the rebel who questioned the hive, and was attacked.
I had a very odd weekend… It was a weekend of shifting. It was so weird, that I cannot define it. All I know is that a layer of something came off, at the same time, the ground beneath me seemed to move when I wasn’t looking. My mind was in such shock, and in such a tizzy of anxiety that it–my mind, found my last nerve, and got a severe talking to. After that–I just ignored her, she gets out of hand, and it’s exhausting to try an reason with her and all the stupid questions of “what?”, “why?”, “who?” Honestly… who fucking cares, mind?! Truly, when has logic ever worked in these scenarios?! When have you ever figured it out, while it’s happening?? Right, NEVER! So, do shut up! Needless to say, I avoid people during these times… Everyone will have a bout of crazy, there’s no need to take anyone with you. Hahaha!
Another thing, I’ve noticed about today is my emotional detachment from just about everything. Part of me really doesn’t care. I don’t care about food, politics, working, thinking…especially thinking, or, what’s next. I don’t care… Sorry, I just don’t. Not today, at least. And, I embrace that. Do you know how exhausting emotions can be?
So, finally I realized…”I’m just not going to sleep tonight… I’m just going to lay here, like I’m sedated, and allow this energetic surgery to take place. Yes, I’m utterly miserable, but, I understand, this is part of transformation.” Mind you, I’m aware that I’m being observed by my normal crew of lightbeings and angels that surround my bed every night. And, yes, they did what they could to help, but, there’s only so much the light can do, when an I AM is in a state of transformation. In that way, we are alone as the choice to continue is an individual one.
The wonderful thing about the void, is that it isn’t stationery. It isn’t in one place–but, many places. It’s within us, around us, above and below us. In our choices, we, too create a spark of creation in our void, and then allow it into our lives to travel attracting whatever it needs to become whatever it will be. And, then suddenly–we have inspiration for an idea to make something of substance and matter. We do this all the time, but, do not think about the “how” and the “where”.
Are we ever off duty? No. No. And, yeah, um… NO. There have been days where I’ve been at home thinking in my safe haven, my sacred space, my little temple that I would rest, and be safe from answering someone’s call. Nope. This doesn’t happen. On those days, I get phone calls, emails, telepathic messages, people knocking on doors… etc. Why? Because so many are waking up right now, that lightworkers are and must be seen. If you as a lightworkers are thinking there must be some sort of sign over your head, over your house that says, “Help is over here!!!” You are right! You are being seen, all the time, everywhere throughout the universe. So… get used to it! The light doesn’t go out, it only gets brighter as you become better. Do I ever get exhausted??? Hell yeah! But, I rest. I realize not all things will be done on the day a “call” for assistance comes in. I always take care of me, first. Do you understand? This is NOT about sacrifice. This is NOT about being a messiah, or a guru. This is NOT about ego-stroking. This IS about being of service.
Yesterday was a blessing indeed, for too long the feminine has been expressed in secret, not just in cultures, or societies, but, within ourselves. And, it’s time she come front and center, standing next to her counterpart, make us all whole.