The highest compliment my mother ever gave me, was when she said, I was like an extra piece of the jigsaw puzzle that doesn’t fit anywhere. She was referring to how I fit into my immediate family, and when she said that, I giggled, smiled, hugged her and said, “You understand me!” LOL… In the grand scheme of all there is, of course I fit. But, in that moment, my mother gave me acceptance. And, while I’d long ago decided it was no longer required, after 30 plus years…it was a nice gift.
And, here’s the deal people: we are all individual parts of a greater collective. Therefore, it would behoove us to accept this sooner rather than later. Do not let anyone tell you who you are, aren’t, should or could be. It is categorically impossible for them to know, as they truly have no say, only influence. And, their influence only goes as far as YOU allow.
I’ve always had my own way of doing things, at the frustration of my mother, teachers, employers…yadda, yadda, yadda. And, in the past–and, I do mean past… I actually tried to allow these supposedly older, wiser, and more experienced people tell me who I am. But, the truth is: the only person who has ever had experience being me is ME. All they could tell me is what they were taught. And, yes, some of it was useful, but, only some of it.
I’ve mentioned before, I first heard my primary spirit-guide, Satu, at the age of five. We talked a lot and he would tell me things, and I’d say up until around 25–I wasn’t the best listener. Thus…I spent a lot of time frustrated, lost, confused, angry, and afraid–any of this sound familiar to you??– It wasn’t until I stopped trying to be someone I’m not,that life became a lot easier.
For example: Believe it or not–I know I’m a black woman. I don’t do P.C.–now you know. Now, despite rumors to the contrary–i.e. my hair, my skin tone, or, my personality–it’s true. Therefore, all those people over the years, who projected their issues onto me, really had no clue as to what the hell they were talking about. My DNA says I have African, Native American and (possibly) some French Canadian genes moving and grooving around there. But, most importantly: I SAY SO–AND, SO IT IS. It’s not something I need to discuss, nor, a label I need to wear. It just happens to be the vessel I chose to embody this lifetime. And, by the way–I love my vessel–she’s pretty freaking hot!
Secondly: I do not believe in organized religion. While I was raised Christian, I do not claim it –much to the dismay of my Mommy–I claim no belief system, because I do not believe that the All-thing, no-thing, universe, source, creator, all-there-is, or god, requires it. I do not require dogma to keep me, my thoughts and spirit in-line. I’m self-disciplined, and after much practice, its pretty much second-nature. Therefore: I do not entertain any religious or (dogmatic) spiritual person telling me how I should express my spirituality. Ick. Yes, I said it–ick. Plus…I believe in the oneness in all things, therefore–I AM God also…
—if you brain just blew up–I don’t need to know about it. No, seriously… I don’t need to know about it.
Trying to be someone for someone else WILL cause you distress, because you will never be that person. EVER. You can only be you, and who that is–is who you create with each choice you make. If all of your choices are made to align yourself with the expectations of others, expect to become… A HOT MESS! It can be very exhausting, upsetting and depressing to keep expecting the rest of us to tell you who you are. Has it ever occurred to anyone that the majority of the world is trying to figure out who it is? Thus…this ball of confusion we call life. So, here we are on a planet of freewill, clueless, but, passionate about telling one another what to do, and how to do it for the sake of…of, wait… of who? Our ego, that’s who. Herd-mentality allows the insecurities of the ego to be managed, simply because there are so many other insecure egos doing this same thing. So, hey if every one’s going to slaughter, then, it can’t be that bad, right??? (WTF?!)
Love is an energy that is so amazing because its all ecompassing. Love allows freedom of expression. Can you truly love yourself, if you aren’t honest in how you express yourself? Can you truly love yourself, if your entire identity is built upon the ideas of someone else? …Hm… Can you truly love someone if you keep attempting to mold them into who you want them to be, rather than who they’ve chosen to be. See, I love a lot of people–some of them I can deal with, some of them I can deal with from afar, and some I cannot deal with at all. But, because I love them–I love them where they are, even if that’s far away from me. Love doesn’t require a leash–just so you know.
Sure, it seems easy to be apart of a fictitious herd, but, the herd doesn’t pay the consequences of you trying to fit in–you do. You are the one who looks in the mirror, and has no idea whose looking back at you. That confusion isn’t the herds fault, its yours. The damage done to us all at some point in life, can either make us stronger, or stunt us–that, too, is your call. No one lives in this realm without experiencing pain. It cannot be avoided–its part of the human experience. But, it is up to us to decide how long we’re going to carry that pain, and if we will allow that pain to define who we are. –Not to mention, its up to us to decide how we will either deal, or not deal with pain. Let me say this: If you don’t deal with pain, and heal it–expect it to deal with you, and, eventually take you out, one way, or another.
In my experience as divine being–I curse. Which should not be confused with cursing some one out. I mean using curse words as a form of expression–you know, how words were meant to be used. According to some belief systems that is “wrong”, and recently someone tried to convince me that it was low in vibration to use the word “fuck”. Oh well, guess what–I use it. To me, what’s low in vibration is having the audacity to tell someone else how to express their divinity. I’m from the south–and, a nice way to curse someone out starts out with, “Well…bless your heart…” with a sinster look on your face. Hey, the intent behind those words aren’t friendly, and whether you know it or not–you were just insulted! LOL! I blow things and people like that off. There’s always going to be someone who screams their insecurity, by trying to tell you what you “ought” to be. Now, if you do that to me, I’m obligated remind you that I’m me, it’s my human experience, and you might want to “color on your side of the coloring book.”
When I studied reiki, my reiki master found my approach appalling, because, I’m psychic. I cannot do a reiki healing without getting psychic impressions. And, if prompted by spirit (read: yelled at), I do share what I get with the person I’m giving reiki to. That’s how I do things. Reiki purest (like my teacher) would poo-poo on that, and I poo-poo on their poo-poo. lol! I’m a reiki master now, and I’m conduit of healing–so, guess what? I’ll be doing what is true for me.
When I was becoming certified as a psychic–once again, being and living my truth was controversial–to…well… not me. But, alas, I got what I needed from it. And, that was refinement. That’s it. I never expected my practice to be exactly what I was taught. I’m not by the book, unless its my book. Perhaps its because I’ve spent so many past lives in places and societies that had rules, regulations and boxes–that, I seriously WILL NOT comply to thoughts that aren’t mine.
No one breathes well in the confinement of boxes, perhaps that’s why they find difficulty in maintaining a life inside one. And, of course a box can be so many things. But,when you do the work of becoming, creating and recreating yourself, you never have to be in a box again. You NEVER feel compelled to meet the expectations of someone else. In fact, it becomes all too clear, the reason they want to define you. It’s the easiest way to distract them from doing work on themselves. Really, do you want to define yourself with the ideas of someone, who hasn’t completed the work they keep telling you to do? Yeah..um… not me.
Love Peace Happiness N One,